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 Post subject: Re: ROOTbeer Hockey
PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 7:02 am 
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Seasons are over. Both kids' teams went to their tournament finals, and lost. In the case of Miss18.1, it was a huge bummer because it was the Tier 2 NYS Championship tournament, and the team she joined had won it the year before. We just ran into an unbeatable goalie. The winning team literally played the entire tournament without giving up a goal. 5 games. Much respect to them.
Miss18.2's team was in a lower bracket of the CT league, but making the Finals was awesome for them. A bunch of kids had never played hockey before, and they really worked hard all year to get there. Lost the Finals 3-2 but had a blast anyway.

So now, it's time to clean the cars. It's amazing what you find under the seats and between cushions after 6 months of travel hockey.

I don't think I've ever posted this here, so now I will. I send it to our team parents every year. Canadians- substitute Timmy's for Dunkin.

You know you're a hockey parent when...

...you ask the dealer how many hockey bags the SUV can hold, and where sticks would go. Also what size Dunkin cup can fit. If it has heated seats, you cry just a little and hug the salesperson.
...you can't lease that new SUV no matter how good a deal, because "travel hockey miles" will put you over the annual mile limit for sure. And you’re already on a tight budget because new skates are on the horizon.

…within a short time, that new SUV has more goldfish in the backseat than most aquarium stores have in their tanks.
...the first thing you pack for a tournament hotel stay is Febreze. Next might be booze. Then more booze. Then maybe more Febreze.
...you know where every Dunkin is for a 100-mile radius.
...you keep handwarmers in the car at all times.
...you don't know what to do with free time on weekends when for some reason, games are canceled. You spend most of those days looking out the window yelling "we've played in worse!"
...you know at least 12 refs by name. And where they park.
...you ground your kids for bad grades, bad behavior, etc... "except practice. You're going to practice!"
...you've had to replace garage door panels and/or windows.
...someone complains about buying their kid $150 cleats and you laugh and say, "that's almost free!"
...you can't make any plans without checking the team schedule(s). Or better yet, you just tell them "talk to me in late March. Shoot. Wait. Spring league..."
...you bought your kid a new $200 stick because their previous one "was out of goals".
...you know well in advance that Dec 26-29 is going to be spent in a hotel and a rink.
...you buy pants based on how long you think it will take aluminum bleachers to suck the heat out of your ass through them.
...you cherish fleece or flannel lined jeans like they are loved ones. Maybe more than some loved ones. You get to choose the pants!
...as cold as you may be, you lost all respect for the guy bragging about his heated vest.
...people buy you hunting or skiing clothing, when you don't hunt or ski. "Just to keep warm at the rink"
...you've yelled something you're ashamed of, at least once.
...when looking at a potential new house, you estimate how big of a rink you could fit in the yard and try to determine where you would dry the kids' gear. Also how often you'll have to paint the wall by the front door.
...you know obscure landmarks because " ohhh, that's on the way to _______ rink".
...when people complain about how much time their kid's sport takes up, and you just smile and nod, thinking what you'd do with all that free time.
...you really do need more cowbell, even if the league says you can't use one.
...every time you see someone in thick, square glasses, you think of the Hanson Brothers and wonder if your kids are old enough to see Slap Shot. Or, if you should watch it with them again.
...a "family vacation" is to either a tournament or hockey camp.
...you know off the top of your head which hotels have an indoor pool. And a bar.
...you tell your kids' ages by "mite, squirt, peewee..."
...you think of the annual seasons as "hockey camp, pre-season, mid-season, and tournament".
...you can tie skate laces tight enough to turn toes purple.
...you plan your summer vacation around the local hockey store's annual pre-season sale. "We can't be away that weekend! It's 20% off everything."
...you never put your kids in "timeout", but you give out 2 minute minors, 5 minute majors, game misconducts and suspensions of various days.
...now & then you'll even drink "rink coffee", because it's relatively hot and probably has caffeine in it.
...you have a crock pot so you can return from away games to a home cooked meal.
...you're in a Facebook group to get crock pot recipes, which probably has "Hockey Mom" in the title.
...you find pucks in random places around your house.
...you find uses for the pucks found in random places.
...you've been given at least one mug that says something like "You don't scare me, I'm a hockey mom!"
...somehow, you've gotten used to the smell of the kids' equipment. You don't want to admit it. But you have. Stop lying. You really have. The first step toward a cure is admitting the problem...
...old appliances don't get thrown out until they've spent some time in the driveway as a goalie.
...you find pucks when mowing the lawn.
...you pretend to drop your gloves before telling your kids to do their damned homework, clean their damned room, eat their damned broccoli...
...you know that when you mess with one duck, you mess with ALL ducks.
...you've actually put on the foil, just to see how it felt.
...you've yelled "Shit! Gotta get the skates sharpened!" at random times throughout your workday, scaring the hell out of your sane coworkers.
...you've got a Yeti mug in your car September-March.
...you've yelled things like "hey ref, check your phone. You've missed at least 3 calls!" Or perhaps "hey ref, good thing you didn't blow your whistle there. We wouldn't want your seeing eye dog to run out onto the ice and get hurt."
...you know what year your kid will be "draft eligible", and have tried to project that year's draft order.
...you've Photoshopped your kids head on to all NHL or NWHL team jerseys, to figure out where they'd look best.

...you know that the majority of these are meant purely for entertainment, and you'd never do them, such as heckling refs. Riiiight?

...you know your kid plays the best damned game there is, and even though you get crazy sometimes, you're proud of the way they play.

Feel free to send any you think of to me. I like to add to this.

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 Post subject: Re: ROOTbeer Hockey
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 11:43 am 
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Bro's Novice(2010) son Jake, a goalie, got some nice words from Dan Cloutier after his son's team beat Jake's in the OMHA AAA finals(basically the provincial finals for the highest level for that birth year). Jake's team hadn't been able to beat them(Oakville) all season long, then beat them in the round robin tournament 3-1 on Saturday to meet them for the gold medal but couldn't pull it out.

Cloutier's kid is really frigging good.

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 Post subject: Re: ROOTbeer Hockey
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2019 5:51 am 
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Bosc wrote:
Bro's Novice(2010) son Jake, a goalie, got some nice words from Dan Cloutier after his son's team beat Jake's in the OMHA AAA finals(basically the provincial finals for the highest level for that birth year). Jake's team hadn't been able to beat them(Oakville) all season long, then beat them in the round robin tournament 3-1 on Saturday to meet them for the gold medal but couldn't pull it out.

Cloutier's kid is really frigging good.


Shame they couldn't pull out the big win, but that's still really cool to make it and have a former NHLer compliment him.

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Posting your political views on social media is like sticking your head up your ass & whispering: You're just as likely to change someone's mind, and you'll always come out looking like a shithead.


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