2010-? Official Beer Hockey Thread

[Chris18]

https://calgaryherald.com/sports/hockey/nhl/luongo-surprises-beer-league-team

Could you imagine? Good stuff out of Lu!

That's so awesome

My team needs a goalie tonight. I sent that link in the group chat. Best reply was "do you seriously think we're the only beer league team who'd be asking him now? He's got free beer for life if he keeps this up."

And I keep waiting to hear the opposing team filed a complaint for them using a non-rostered player.

[Chris18]

Played last night with Miss18.1 as the other wing. Other team can be pretty dirty, with a d-pair that I nicknamed "the slew foot twins". I had the puck in the corner and I saw she was covered closely by one of these turds. I get run into by the other. A little pushing, nothing big, and I hear their goalie say "holy shit!". We go off for a change. She told me Turd 1 pulled her hair in front, so she turned on him and told him "you ever pull my hair again you'll be sifting through your shit to find your fucking teeth". Turd 1 and goalie were totally stunned. Later on she realized that since Turd 1 didn't say anything in response, it was probably an accident, as he's always ready to talk shit after doing something dirty. But, it set the tone for them to back off a bit.

One I've never seen before- there was a practice before our game and a kid got mad that he didn't score during a scrimmage and threw his glove. It went up into the metallic insulation barrier in the ceiling. Coach got a ladder and was using his stick to slide things down the barrier to drop down. Poor bastard got rained on with pucks. They were there for most of our game trying. Coach threw his glove up to where he thought the kid's glove was. Soooooo then there was TWO missing gloves. They tried to get that and a fucking STICK came down! Like a $300 Bauer stick, not broken. Looked like it had been up there for a while as it was pretty dusty. I kept waiting for a rat to fall out or something like that. Miss18.1 told the kid to tape his phone to his stick and take video of the whole bench so he could find WHERE his glove was because he was just randomly poking the barrier... "Great idea! Got any tape? I'm all out". He found some tape and a minute later, had his glove, which was like 20' away from where he "knew" it was. Gotta love rink shenanigans.

[Bosc]

I was walking in for my game on Wednesday, waved hi to a friend of mine coaching figure skating before we go on and WHAMMO, walk my head right into the beam along the side. There's only about 3 feet of space between the benches and the edge of the beam so you have to watch where you're going and I, at the wrong moment, was it. That fucking hurt.

[Chris18]

I was walking in for my game on Wednesday, waved hi to a friend of mine coaching figure skating before we go on and WHAMMO, walk my head right into the beam along the side. There's only about 3 feet of space between the benches and the edge of the beam so you have to watch where you're going and I, at the wrong moment, was it. That fucking hurt.

Ug. That sucks.

We've had games at an ancient rink over the years, where the arched roof support beams come down into the middle of the bench. Only one door in each bench and the benches are like park benches bolted in, with upright backs, so there's no room to get around. Can't tell you how many coaches, including me, have smashed their heads on those beams. And yes, they come low enough for even ME to hit my head.

[Bosc]

I was walking in for my game on Wednesday, waved hi to a friend of mine coaching figure skating before we go on and WHAMMO, walk my head right into the beam along the side. There's only about 3 feet of space between the benches and the edge of the beam so you have to watch where you're going and I, at the wrong moment, was it. That fucking hurt.

Ug. That sucks.

We've had games at an ancient rink over the years, where the arched roof support beams come down into the middle of the bench. Only one door in each bench and the benches are like park benches bolted in, with upright backs, so there's no room to get around. Can't tell you how many coaches, including me, have smashed their heads on those beams. And yes, they come low enough for even ME to hit my head.

Yeah, not fun This rink was built in the early 00's. Surely they could have had a little more room!

[Chris18]

I was walking in for my game on Wednesday, waved hi to a friend of mine coaching figure skating before we go on and WHAMMO, walk my head right into the beam along the side. There's only about 3 feet of space between the benches and the edge of the beam so you have to watch where you're going and I, at the wrong moment, was it. That fucking hurt.

Ug. That sucks.

We've had games at an ancient rink over the years, where the arched roof support beams come down into the middle of the bench. Only one door in each bench and the benches are like park benches bolted in, with upright backs, so there's no room to get around. Can't tell you how many coaches, including me, have smashed their heads on those beams. And yes, they come low enough for even ME to hit my head.

Yeah, not fun This rink was built in the early 00's. Surely they could have had a little more room!

It's amazing how many rinks are so poorly designed. I was at one the other day built in like 2005. The benches were originally so short that you could only fit like 10-12 players on them. Soo, they removed the ends and extended the benches outwards. Sounds great! Until you try to open the bench doors- which open about 12" and hit the benches.

[Bosc]

It's amazing how many rinks are so poorly designed. I was at one the other day built in like 2005. The benches were originally so short that you could only fit like 10-12 players on them. Soo, they removed the ends and extended the benches outwards. Sounds great! Until you try to open the bench doors- which open about 12" and hit the benches.

The doors to go into the benches from the hall open into the benches, rather than out from the benches. I have no idea why that was done when there is lots of clearance for the door to open out from the bench.

[Chris18]

It's amazing how many rinks are so poorly designed. I was at one the other day built in like 2005. The benches were originally so short that you could only fit like 10-12 players on them. Soo, they removed the ends and extended the benches outwards. Sounds great! Until you try to open the bench doors- which open about 12" and hit the benches.

The doors to go into the benches from the hall open into the benches, rather than out from the benches. I have no idea why that was done when there is lots of clearance for the door to open out from the bench.

Like the doors would open into the playing area? Could you imagine how often teams would open doors into opponents?

[Bosc]

It's amazing how many rinks are so poorly designed. I was at one the other day built in like 2005. The benches were originally so short that you could only fit like 10-12 players on them. Soo, they removed the ends and extended the benches outwards. Sounds great! Until you try to open the bench doors- which open about 12" and hit the benches.

The doors to go into the benches from the hall open into the benches, rather than out from the benches. I have no idea why that was done when there is lots of clearance for the door to open out from the bench.

Like the doors would open into the playing area? Could you imagine how often teams would open doors into opponents?

No, the doors from the bench to the hallway would open into the bench. I was mixed up though, they don't.

[Chris18]

Okay. I was picturing a scene like in Beverly Hills Cop, when Eddie Murphy opens the car door into Luther. "Ohhh Luther, that looked painful the way you slammed into that".

[Chris18]

Getting old sucks. For the first time I can remember I have a muscle injury. "Strained" upper groin/lower abdominal muscle according to my chiro/sports Dr. I'll be fine 99.9% of the time but have no power pushing off with my left leg, and like once every 20 pushes it feels like someone is stabbing me and I stumble. Been this way for a month now. I played a few games on it, thinking I could just push through. Uhhh, nope! Doctor said I can't even ride my bike because if I attack a climb I could do more damage, or at the very least, just slow down the healing. So I'm sitting around, doing nothing. Supposed to do tons of projects around the house, all of which require some heavy lifting, so those are out too. And it all started in a stupid goal mouth scramble with a dickhead trying to slew foot me to get better positioning. Stayed on my feet and he didn't get the chance. I sure showed him, now that I've been out a month.

[Bosc]

That sucks, man. It feels shitty when your body betrays you for things that you would have just shaken off a few years ago, it seems. The doubleheaders in net certainly aren't easy like they used to be, and the recovery is longer than just 2 single games.

Doctor said I can't even ride my bike because if I attack a climb I could do more damage

I had to smile at the wording here thinking to myself "can what I do riding my bike on a climb be considered attacking?"

[Chris18]

That sucks, man. It feels shitty when your body betrays you for things that you would have just shaken off a few years ago, it seems. The doubleheaders in net certainly aren't easy like they used to be, and the recovery is longer than just 2 single games.

Doctor said I can't even ride my bike because if I attack a climb I could do more damage

I had to smile at the wording here thinking to myself "can what I do riding my bike on a climb be considered attacking?"

Ha, I thought the same and then I thought about the amount of cursing and grunting I do while climbing and figure it must sound like some sort of attack is happening.