AustraliaYick. Not even if Nicole Kidman were to somehow turn back the clock and botox injections to look as uh-mazingly hot as she did in "Far and Away" would this 3-hour dreck have been noteworthy. I unfortunately got dragged into this on account of it being my mother-in-law-to-be's birthday, and took more solace in the Captain-n-Coke and free popcorn the new theatre by my house provided than the actual entertainment value on screen.
It isn't a bad movie, in fact I would have preferred it be bad. It was just...meh. Over 3 hours of meh to be exact. Yes, yes, the half-aboriginal child was cute as a button, and veteran Aussie actors Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Bryan Brown, and David Wenham all have notable performances (it's a nice bit of irony that in a movie set in Australia and ENTITLED Australia, she plays a fucking Brit), but really...the contrived, predictable plot and every pretentious cliche you find in these so-called "epic" movies were running rampant in this snoozer. You know you're in for a long ride when you're actually
relieved that Jackman and the obligatory old-wise-and-mysterious Aborigine shaman show more skin than Kidman. My God, the rotting carcass remaining from our Thanksgiving exploits had more meat on them than Nicole is sporting here. Someone phone Keith Urban and tell him to feed his wife something lest she get thinner than the plot of "Days of Thunder."
Anyway, if you too find yourself fenced into this flick like the cattle Jackman's character "droves" from place to place, be sure to buy the large popcorn and the smallest beverage you can get a hold of. On second thought, get the biggest bucket of carbonated slime you can carry into the theatre--that way you have a built-in excuse to leave!