OffThePost.org

(Generation III)
It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 5:31 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:59 pm 
Offline
2003-04 Goalie Profiles Coming Soon!

Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:13 pm
Posts: 10871
Location: who can even keep track


Yikes. Reminded me of this:


_________________
Injustice? Cobain died and Eddy Fucking Vedder lived to haunt us with his shitty fucking voice, trite lyrics and his Eddy Vedderness.

:steamingpileofcrap:

- Ancient Chinese Proverb


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:44 pm 
Offline
Flamer who Likes to Ride Rough

Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 1:34 am
Posts: 295
Accident or not, you gotta be a fucking idiot to slash your goalie like that. Control your stick!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:18 am 
Offline
Un-Tenured Professor of Hockey
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 26101
Geez...not sure why both felt the need to hit the net. Go find a nice spot on the boards like I do every time I fuck up (and that's often) and hit that. You break a lot fewer sticks and goalies that way.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:43 pm 
Offline
Un-Tenured Professor of Hockey
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 26101
Thankfully it was nothing serious. Ear laceration, no head injury. As if Ballard's year wasn't going rough enough. I think it'll take a bit for him to get his head screwed on straight again after that, though he's obviously got it easier than Vokoun.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:50 pm 
Offline
King of the One-Liner
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:40 pm
Posts: 5448
Location: Too deep in crease.
Wonder how much Clemmenson payed Ballard?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:04 pm 
Offline
2003-04 Goalie Profiles Coming Soon!

Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:13 pm
Posts: 10871
Location: who can even keep track
Hounsy wrote:
Wonder how much Clemmenson payed Ballard?

Would have to have been a little more than normal, considering he berated his D publicly earlier in the year:

viewtopic.php?f=31&t=2294

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we talk way too much about the Panthers around here. Unfortunately, this incident involved probably the only two Panthers players I give a damn about.

_________________
Injustice? Cobain died and Eddy Fucking Vedder lived to haunt us with his shitty fucking voice, trite lyrics and his Eddy Vedderness.

:steamingpileofcrap:

- Ancient Chinese Proverb


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:59 am 
Offline
He of the red stockings
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:19 pm
Posts: 1396
un-fuckin-believable

there is NO excuse to brain your own goalie, especially so hard that they need to bring in a stretcher


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:59 am 
Offline
OTP Historian
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:10 pm
Posts: 11136
Other teammate-caused injuries:

http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2009/12/nhl-injuries.html

Quote:
Keith Ballard is the talk of the hockey world today, thanks to his bizarre slash to the head that left teammate Tomas Vokoun bleeding on a stretcher.

But while Ballard is certainly an extreme case, he's not the first NHL player to accidentally cause an injury to a teammate. In fact, over the past few years the league has seen several regrettable incidents. Here's a look at some that had the biggest impact.

The player: Jonas Gustavsson
The injury: Heart arrhythmia due to repetitive trauma to the middle of his chest
What happened: Cumulative effect from a full month of facing Jason Blake in practice every day.

The player: Joe Thornton
The injury: Damaged windpipe due to choking
What happened: Unaware of strict internal rules regarding team meals, new teammate Dany Heatley mentions the word "playoffs".

The player: Andrei Markov
The injury: Sprained MCL
What happened: Repetitive strain of constantly having to drop to one knee to hold a conversation with the Habs' various offseason acquisitions.

The player: Brad Boyes
The injury: Severe hoof damage across his back
What happened: Wandered in between Keith Tkachuk and the post-game buffet.

The player: Alexei Ponikarovsky
The injury: Lower back pain, swollen ankles, and gestational diabetes
What happened: Accidentally made eye contact with Luke Schenn.

The player: Entire Vancouver Canucks defence
The injury: Second and third degree sunburns to the back of the neck.
What happened: Were forced to play an entire game in front of Andrew Raycroft.

The player: Rick DiPietro
The injury: Multiple fractures, torn ligaments, internal organ failure
What happened: Teammate Brendan Witt turned on a rotating fan in the dressing room, causing a light breeze.

The player: Marian Hossa
The injury: Lacerations to both wrists
What happened: New teammate Patrick Kane introduced himself by saying "Wow, you played for Pittsburgh and Detroit? Can I see your Cup rings?"

The player: Marc Staal
The injury: Impaired vision
What happened: Learning the details of Wade Redden's free agent contract caused eyes to cartoonishly pop out of head, detaching both retinas.

The player: Daniel Carcillo
The injury: Concussion
What happened: During a heated debate on the validity of the inferential thesis, Carcillo argues for Gibson's "ecological approach" to the conception of perception, leading Riley Cote (a known advocate of Fodor and Pylyshyn's stance that affordances presuppose direct perception and therefore can not be used to explain it) to hit him over the head with a folding chair.

The player: Chris Neil
The injury: Two broken ankles
What happened: Instinctively leapt out of eighth floor hotel window after Chris Phillips mentioned that the bellhop kind of looked like Colton Orr.

The player: Chris Drury
The injury: Existential crisis
What happened: Realization that Sean Avery continues to pull incredibly hot women forced him to question the very existence of a just and merciful god.

The player: Mike Fisher
The injury: Broken jaw and fractued orbital bone
What happened: Tried to keep a straight face when Daniel Alfredsson delivered his "Go ahead and write it, I guarantee we'll win the Cup" quote.

_________________
Thanks Chuck, E.L. and Harmy!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:03 pm 
Offline
Un-Tenured Professor of Hockey
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 26101
Quote:
The player: Andrei Markov
The injury: Sprained MCL
What happened: Repetitive strain of constantly having to drop to one knee to hold a conversation with the Habs' various offseason acquisitions.


:lol: :lol: :lol:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:37 pm 
Offline
OTP Historian
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:10 pm
Posts: 11136
Again from Down Goes Brown: signs your teammates are trying to kill you.

http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2009/12/si ... -kill.html

Quote:
The hockey world is still buzzing about the Keith Ballard/Tomas Vokoun incident. And while teammates injuring teammates isn't rare, this one was more blatant than most.

Understandably, that has NHL goalies worried. After all, Vokoun can't be the only goaltender in the league whose teammates are plotting his demise.

NHL goalies must be thinking: What if I'm next?

Here's the good news: While attempted goaltender murder is common, there are always warning signs. You just need to know where to look. So if you're an NHL goaltender, review this list carefully. It could be a matter of life and death.

Signs your teammates are trying to kill you
Your blocker is ticking.


During games against the Predators, whenever you call someone over and try to whisper about defensive strategy he loudly responds "Dude, that's a horrible thing to say about Wade Belak's mom!"


Every time you fall asleep on a team flight, you wake up tied to a fire hydrant at the end of Tiger Woods' driveway.


Your crease now includes a chalk outline.


The team hasn't acquired any forwards lately, but everyone keeps whispering about when the new sniper will get there.


While sitting at home watching the ESPYs, you notice your photo in the dead athletes montage.


Upon leaving the ice after a win you're immediately greeted by an eight-foot panther, but you don't play for Florida.


While watching an NBC broadcast, they invite you to play a drinking game called "Have a shot of tequila every time Pierre McGuire says 'Monster'".


When you ask a teammate whether he thinks the Leafs will win the Stanley Cup during your lifetime he says "No, but then neither will anybody else."


They suggest replacing the traditional pre-game ritual of "stick tap across the pads" with a new version called "skate blade across the adam's apple".


During a meeting with NHLPA reps to discuss the CBA, every question is about how the unsolved murder of the goaltender would impact the salary cap.


That new guy they keep inviting out to practice looks suspiciously like Steve Tuttle.


Eklund just reported that your teammates are definitely not trying to kill you.


In post-game interviews they say things like "We just need to take it one game at a time, stay within ourselves, and try not to do too much. And also, we need to kill that guy over there."


Your name is Vesa Toskala.


Whenever you ask someone for a lift home, they say "I'm not heading in that direction, but maybe you can get a ride with Dany."


_________________
Thanks Chuck, E.L. and Harmy!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:23 pm 
Offline
Rebel Sell + Moneyball = Life
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:51 pm
Posts: 3319
Location: Ottawa, ON
Quote:
That new guy they keep inviting out to practice looks suspiciously like Steve Tuttle.

Too soon!




Quote:
Whenever you ask someone for a lift home, they say "I'm not heading in that direction, but maybe you can get a ride with Dany."

OK, too soon for real...

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:44 pm 
Offline
Un-Tenured Professor of Hockey
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 26101
Oh come now, the Tuttle reference isn't too soon is it? It's been 20 years...


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:48 am 
Offline
Rebel Sell + Moneyball = Life
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:51 pm
Posts: 3319
Location: Ottawa, ON
Av-merican wrote:
Oh come now, the Tuttle reference isn't too soon is it? It's been 20 years...

That one was a joke... hence why I said "for real" the second time.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:54 am 
Offline
Un-Tenured Professor of Hockey
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:37 am
Posts: 26101
Ah I gotcha...I agree as well.

Well, apparently the Panthros are continuing the trend.

http://www.fromtherink.com/2009/12/8/11 ... ek-for-the

THIS time I think Colin Campbell will be inclined to levy a suspension. Just a hunch... :eng101:


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group